Me & Bill (Gates)

I credit library school with turning me into a public speaker. One of the program requirements was a presentation in every class. For two and a half years I gave one or two presentations every semester and finally mastered the art of public speaking.

At first, I was scared half to death. To compensate, I would write my presentations carefully and then print the slides and take them to the gym, climb onto a treadmill, and memorize the presentation word for word. Going no where for an hour is great practice for memorization. Gradually, I improved.

By the last year I had even developed some style. I knew I had succeeded by the grace of a young gentleman classmate we shall call Abner.

The assignment was a Website where the programming language ColdFusion powered various and sundry operations. I walked to the front of the room when it was my turn to present and pulled up my Website, reading off the URL to the class so they could follow along on their own computers.

Before I could begin the presentation Abner spoke up forcefully, joy tinging his vowels, “Is this FireFox compatible?”

I stopped. I did not need to bring up FireFox to know that something was off – probably my style sheets.

I stood and looked at Abner across the heads of my 40 classmates and the professor. “No,” I replied, slowly, clearly and with deadly seriousness, “I’m one of Bill’s whores.”