Crappy Piece of Crap DVD Player

Last weekend, strolling through Sears as grownups are wont to do on occasion, I found a DVD player for $29.

Twenty! nine! dollars!

Hubby’s first DVD player 6 years ago came in at just over $300. Until our weekend stroll it was our only DVD player, and a fine job it does. A quiet trooper delivering up entertainment and documentary videos from Netflix on a regular basis.

I was so overcome with the prospect of buying a second DVD player for only twenty! nine! dollars! that I snatched it off the shelf, surruptiously looking behind me for the thief who might try to steal such a great deal away from me. I had taken it for granted that all DVD players, regardless of cost, would have the functions that our current DVD player has.

Not ones that cost twenty nine dollars.

It runs like a 57 Chevy tumbling off a cliff. It has the usability features of a piece of cheese (when you press stop and then play it doesn’t remember where you were). The remote has two play buttons, two rewind buttons, two fast forward buttons (what the heck is that?!?!?!?!).

As I was complaining, Hubby asked if I appreciated how he had allowed me to select and buy a piece of crap without interrupting my unfounded joy. I agreed that he had indeed been gentle and patient during the entire crap-buying process. He then smoothly and efficiently took over the return-and-replace-with-a-better-dvd-player process. We haven’t been to the store yet and I already know the minimum amount we are spending. There is no cap.