GenreJump:Classics: The Awakening by Kate Chopin

I’m not saying she should have stayed, but I can’t be her trumpeter either.

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The Awakening is the story of a very privileged woman who decides to leave her husband and children and have brief affairs, sketch, and live off her private wealth. The book doesn’t frame it that way – according to Chopin, the heroine – Edna – is a painfully unfulfilled wife and mother. It’s heralded as an early feminist masterpiece.

Wow. I finished this book 2 months ago and have been waiting to post about what has become the last of my Classics GenreJump because I kept not knowing what I wanted to say. I guess I just found out.

I’m not one to tell other people how to live, but all lives come with responsibilities. Except, apparently, Edna’s. She rejects the obligations that come with family of origin, husband and children and coasts away on personal wealth because she does not feel fulfilled as a wife and mother. Her husband did not mistreat her, but he expected Edna to conform to the social restrictions of their class. The kids she just wasn’t in to.

Now, I’m not saying she shouldn’t have left her husband. Grown people often fight like crazy after sex and decide they never want to see each other again. And she wasn’t so much leaving her husband as she was leaving the role of wife. So, OK, she didn’t want to do that anymore. But she also never TRIED to make things different in the life she had, tried to change things so they would be more to her liking, and in that I would say, honey, in every life you choose in this world you’re going to want to change things. When you passively coast along for years someplace you will inevitably wake up and find yourself in a place where other people have made all the decisions. And that’s on you in your marriage. So for your own personal growth’s sake you might as well correct that problem where you are rather than waiting until it happens again with someone else.

The kids part is harder. I won’t beat her up for it because she’s the one that has to live with it and probably get that knock on the door in 20 years from young men who look strangely familiar (remember that part about her trying to abandon her family of origin? yeah, it totally bites you in the ass).

And so we come to the money part. Chopin writes beautifully. So beautifully you almost miss the part where she totally just said good-bye to her kids. But back to the money. This woman was so wealthy that even after she rejected her family of origin and her husband she had no thought of how to support herself. The money was magically there. There’s something about her being an artist, but even she says her sketching isn’t very good. And not very good work does not mix the fruit salad. I’ll also note that while she left her role as wife and mother she did not leave her social class or situation. One of the first things she did when she moved out was hire a new maid.

So, if I was going to go and get all up into Edna’s business, I’d say: Edna, you didn’t even try. You never had one conversation with your husband about how you felt unfulfilled in the role of wife. You never attempted to work out a solution in the life you had. And even if you were going to leave him, you owed him that much. You owed the kids that much. Besides, what did your husband do when you started pushing the boundaries? He stepped back and let you have your space. You’re not married to a monster.

Oh and Edna, there is no community in this world that comes with no strictures, no mores, no values that won’t sometimes leave you feeling hemmed in. You have to learn how to negotiate for what you want with your primary partner and with your community. Especially seeings how you haven’t left your old community and you’re still going to need references for maids.

Edna, your kids. It hasn’t been that long. You can still change your mind and negotiate for a relationship with them even if as a single woman you can’t raise them.

Oh, and Edna, you can’t in actuality leave your family of origin. It’s just not like that. Might I recommend

The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner

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I’m still thinking of my next GenreJump. Suggestions welcome.