So, why would I be a rutabaga if I could be only one vegetable in a j.o.b. interview?
Well, rutabagas sparkle. They crackle with an internal drive to excellence.
Rutabagas have mad skills, professional experience that is broad, deep, and steeped in Web development across multiple large institutions – particularly usability and accessibility – technology, project management, state-wide library initiatives, and a presentation style you can sell for cash by the hour. Rutabagas have a C.V. paper trail that looks so good it makes the paper sparkle. Rutabagas have great references.
A rutabaga’s number one pleasure in the workforce is to be a Web site administrator for libraries. They have self-actualized in the realm of employment. They fantasize in their off-time about what a different screen resolution might mean for their Web products and sigh with contentment about life’s beautiful possibilities.
Rutabagas have some of the best internal and external customer service skills you’re going to see in the produce aisle. Their ethic is to treat everyone they interact with as the best thing that happened to them that day. Rutabagas learn this from their first job at Zingerman’s (name dropping alert! name dropping alert!). And it works.
Rutabagas know that if the solution to management’s request is within the outer realm of possibility the rutabaga’s prompt yet near-casual response is, “Sure thing. Do you have a date you need that by?” And then the rutabagas deliver because near-slaveish devotion to performance has been tied inextricably to their self esteem and isn’t that convenient in the work place?
Rutabagas are loyal. Rutabagas make themselves look good and they make you look good. Rutabagas can sell you and they can sell your library. To almost anyone. Because positive attitude doesn’t begin to cover it. Rutabagas are giddy about library services. And the best part is, it’s real.
Rutabagas earn the loyalty of others.
Rutabagas research, publish, present and participate in professional associations because it’s fun.
Rutabagas are not so much modest.
Rutabagas make it look easy
And only crawl under their desks screaming after the cleaning crew has left for the day. They usually manage to get out before the receptionist keys in at 7:55.
On average, rutabagas make more than their counterparts. The reason for this is unclear yet strangely obvious to all involved once salary negotiations begin. Nothing for you to be concerned about right now.
Rutabagas can write in near perfect circles. This comes in handy when you need them to write circles around your grant proposals, publications, and competitors.
Rutabagas copy edit for management on request and for peers for chocolate. Rutabagas don’t so much enjoy copy editing and sometimes they have to call their mother for the right answer but you’d never know it.
Rutabagas have great hair – yes, it costs a fortune in time and money. You know that bottle of $22 hairspray you’ve seen? Right here, baby.
If you have statistics or research from peer-reviewed journals that does not support the above information about rutabagas, I would be glad to take a look at it.
OK, can you tell I’ve been job interviewing at the same time my brother has? Excitement is over in my court – I’m contentedly staying right where I am. Serious on the contentment part, I really do love my job. And the floor under my desk is downright cozy with these purple and gold cashmere throw pillows I’ve brought in.
Plum Librarian LLC 