Plum Wrong

Hubby and I went to see our accountant today to cash in on those sweet home-owning tax rebates. It was great.

Except for one thing.

“You made money this year,” the accountant said to me flatly. This concerned my private Web design business, Plum Lovely Designs. He holds up the two sheets I have given him: income and expenditures for the business. “You made money. Big mistake.”

“These things happen,” I replied. I hadn’t actually made money on the business until this year.

“Well, you’ll be taxed on that. I see here,” he says, gazing carefully at my expenditures sheet, “that you report no business mileage. You had no business mileage?”

“Well, I did drive to Flint to meet a client, and I meet with local clients on a fairly regular basis.”

“Definitely report that. I see you report buying only one set of printer cartridges during the year. You bought no paper to support your business? No supplies for your business of any kind?”

“Well, I bought this set of purple folders so things would, y’know, match, and every client gets their own organizer where I keep their stuff. And sure, I bought paper and all.”

“You didn’t report that,” he responded seriously. “Big mistake. Never make money on your business. Spend every penny you make through your business on your business. Break even if you have to, losing money is best. Last year you had a book budget for Web design books. What happened to that?”

“Omm, well, with the new house and all, I borrowed the books I needed from the library instead of buying them.”

He shakes his head impatiently. “New versions of PhotoShop, Dreamweaver, Adobe? External hard drives? A new monitor?”

I shake my head.

“You buying a new computer this year?”

“No,” I think for a minute. “But I am probably going to present at a conference in California.”

“On Web design?”

“Yes.”

“Great, then hopefully we’ll have you at a loss for next year,” he seems satisfied with this, like a doctor whose patient has reported she will quit smoking, lose weight, exercise regularly, take an evening class to meet new people, take up gardening, re-connect with her parents, buy a hybrid, put more money into her retirement account, eat less red meat, watch less television and reconnect with her spirituality.

“Anything else we can do to improve our tax situation?”

“Keep socking it away into your retirement accounts. AND STOP MAKING MONEY ON THE SIDE.”