I Joined Facebook for My Career

I maintain Web sites for a living. I check multiple sites every day to update, check content, confirm display of new items in multiple browsers and screen resolutions, etc. I love it. I am in my dream job. I love my employer and the sites I work on. I am proud of what I do.

But there a few things that bug me.

At one site I work on (along with a couple of hundred other people with admin-level privileges) even admins don’t have access to the style sheet, and sometimes the super-admins will change it and not tell us.

Yes.

Yes, they’ll change the style sheet that we don’t have access to and not tell us.

Yes, I know! I’m totally serious! No, I’m not making this up! One morning text in tables was bigger than it was the morning before!! And two years later it still is!!!

About a year ago I decided I was tired of Internet stuff I was not being paid for that I had to keep up that did not shower me with sprinkles every time I logged in. The Internet was becoming a too-big house – I was tired of cleaning rooms I didn’t use very often. A white elephant – a shiny, conspicuous, work-intensive monster. A career that was becoming a 24-7 religion. So I stopped joining stuff. I stopped joining stuff and I hadn’t joined Facebook.

But Facebook is “cool.” “Everyone” is on Facebook. Colleagues are on Facebook. Work is on Facebook. I have to explain to people why I am “not on Facebook.” It’s become an embarassment.

Do you remember that episode of South Park where the kids try to rescue their video game machine while two secret government agencies are battling for Towlie? This is not a non sequitir. There’s a part of this episode where a super-secret government guy is trying to impress Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman with how important Towlie is and how they must do X, Y, and Z.

They must, they must, they must

and they’re all,

“Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care, we want our video game player.”

Facebook has become my Towlie.

Me? Facebook? Don’t care. Don’t care. Don’t care. Are you gmail or pandora? No? Then get lost. Facebook is just one more public Web space to keep up where I DON’T EVEN HAVE ACCESS TO THE STYLE SHEET.

But I’m now at Facebook. So friend me goddamnit, and send me the cool apps so I don’t look stupid when people find me. And how many goddamned super-pokes do I have to make before I can trout-slap someone?!?!