Laugh With Me

This is the single most stupefying thing to happen to me in a long time. I had no idea it was even possible, yet, here I am.

When hubby and I bought the house two years ago I borrowed money from one of the great middle class Piggy Banks of Life – my 401K. The first and only withdraw from my 401K – a down payment on a house.  Seems reasonable enough, right? Not for a vacation, not for a trivial pursuit.  But for a Home.

This is where it gets good. So, we borrow the money, make our down payment, and move in. We are so happy. We have made a SENSIBLE INVESTMENT.  We OWN PROPERTY and ponder this – owning a part of the earth in any sense, then ponder what it would mean if no one owned anything and various and sundry other in-between options, then I gaze lovingly again at my tiled kitchen floor and three bathrooms, one being a “pink bathroom” (watch my search engine hits rise with that phrase) and my mortgage bill. I do indeed own at least a house with all the associated responsibilities, even if the earth part I’m more or less co-habiting with and adding some sunflowers to.

So, first, we start paying off the borrowed down payment money. Immediately. Auto-deducted from my check. Good enough.

Second, the house is re-assessed. Re-assessed for the first time since the last owners had it assessed when they bought it. It is assessed MUCH HIGHER. This, apparently, happens. This is “normal.” And at first, our payments don’t go up.

Fast forward to Year 2, this year. Our monthly payments (mortgage, taxes and insurance) are up by nearly $200. The mortgage is a fixed rate. It’s the taxes. And. And. The value of the house is now assessed at LESS than we paid for the house.

This means I am paying $200 more per month for taxes for a house worth less than what we paid for it. Worth so much less, in fact, that the money I borrowed for the down payment no longer exists. I am repaying money that does not, in fact, exist. On a house that we could not sell even if we had to because of all the houses dumped on the market right now. On a house where capital improvements are a risky venture at best.

And the money I am both re-paying and investing in my 401K continues to lose value as well.

I am utterly stupefyied by this and take but one consolation, learned from my mother: Hubby and I are, at least, in good company. Go Team America.

By the by, the house needs a new roof. We’re getting estimates now but don’t plan to purchase until next year. Did you know roofing materials are petroleum products and therefore directly tied to gas prices?

Oh yes, boys and girls, laugh with me before I’m a cryin’.