There’s this guy named Charles who has been giving out my cell phone number as his own. The first couple of times I just assumed the callers were one digit off. “Wrong number,” I’d say cheerfully. “Oh, OK” I’d hear back. But then it started happening more frequently and I’m all, Charles, really, I don’t want your calls.
Last night it got stepped up a notch.
“Can I speak to Charles?”
“Wrong number.”
“I’m calling on behalf of Lansing Community College.” I’m thinking: So, are you raising money or does he owe you money? “I really need to talk to him. Do you know him?” Oh, he owes you money.
“Nope, don’t know him.”
“Do you know where I could find him?”
Oh crimany. Now I’ve got to convince this guy I’m not covering for Charles or they’ll keep calling. “He’s been giving out my number to a variety of people, it’s getting really annoying. No, I have no idea who Charles is or even what his last name is.”
Later, I get to thinking about it. Colleges collect tuition and fees upfront. You’ve got to buy your books upfront. What could he owe LCC for?
OMG – Charles, did you walk away from Lansing Community College with LIBRARY BOOKS tucked into your backpack? Do you have over-due notices pending for academic texts? Charles, shame on you! Those are expensive! Only college professors are allowed to check out books from the library and not return them until retirement!
I’m going to stand my ground on this one Charles. I will not cover for you. I will not lie for you. You… you… you POSSIBLE LIBRARY BOOK THIEF!
(of course, it could be parking fees too. is every other state in this nation as insane about parking fees as Michigan?)
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