Today I am framing a restaurant receipt for $72.53 so that I can hang it in my office with a sign that says: “Ask me why we’re a part of the best profession ever.”
Last week I was at the Computers in Libraries 30th annual conference in Washington DC. After a long day of presenting and learning I attended a “dine-around” where the idea was to meet at a local restaurant with other library folks who were interested in discussing a particular topic. I signed up for Community Partnerships and made my way to the restaurant expecting to meet up with the dozen other people on the board and a moderator.
As it turned out, only two other people showed so we settled in and orderered pasta and garlic bread. The conversation was proceeding swimmingly, our family-style dishes were served, and we were enjoying the meal when the table was crashed by three drunk partiers.
I believe the one (and only) of them with a conference bag did manage something along the lines of, “Do you mind if we join you?” as they slid into the long booth, pinning me against the wall. They promptly ordered more alcohol and directed the conversation to politics and comments about the breasts of the women in bikinis eating spaghetti face-first in the photo over the table.
As they blathered on it became apparent that only one of them was actually attending the conference or knew anything about libraries. My compatriots attempted to engage Conference Attendee, Blathering Male Drunkard and Sense Enough to Look Embarrassed Drunk Female on library topics. I’m not a prude but I also don’t attempt rational conversation with drunk folks. I pulled out my phone and began texting select friends and family on the absurdity of my situation.
For a few minutes it was amusing as a librarian back in Michigan offered to trade places from her spot at a tiresome 4H meeting, my cousin in the Carolinas advised bolting and my friend Dragon laughed at me. Finally, I decided to take off. The bill had not arrived and the last thing I wanted to do was stick my two original compatriots with my portion of the check. I couldn’t remember prices so I left $50 with Awesome Kalamazoo Librarian and said, “For my share.” I figured the overage was my due for ditching them.
The next day, Awesome Kalamazoo Librarian found me in the conference hotel among 1,800 attendees. She gave me the receipt and $20 in change.
We have the best profession ever.
Plum Librarian LLC 