This whole class on the nature of God has generated so many thoughts that just keep going! Another one of the questions we were asked to ponder was on the role that prayer plays in our lives. One of the possible responses to the questionnare we filled out for class about prayer was: I don’t find prayer to be a useful concept.
NOT A USEFUL CONCEPT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! PRAYER ROCKS!
During prayer I strip down to the most essential, elemental part of myself to address God. The most honest and humbling part of myself. I chuck all of the nonsense of the day and call upon the best and deepest parts of myself to bring it to God. I like prayer when I’m satisfied with how I conducted my day, because I feel like I have something joyful to share with God, and I like prayer when I’m ashamed of how I conducted my day, because it’s a chance to seek forgiveness for transgressions. To start over with a clean slate. It is an emotionally satisfying experience. I feel like I’m doing my best with my life, bringing my best to God, and keeping a watchful eye on myself to help prevent screw ups. It doesn’t always work, of course, I screw up plenty, but prayer is an opportunity every day to reflect, to do life better, to get it right for the next day.
For me, prayer fulfills two important roles in my life. I’m big on religious duty, on obligation to God. I feel like if I’m not living up to what God has asked of us that I’m failing in an important way. One of the obligations that I feel called upon to fulfill is prayer. Now, even saying that, I don’t pray 5 times a day. Once a day works OK for me, although I have considered adding a private religious service of my own devising once a week. Still thinking on that one.
My prayers fall into two camps then: ritual prayers and private communion with God that is more free form. I value both and wouldn’t want to lose either. Sometimes the ritual prayers feel simply like an obligation. They don’t lift me up. I don’t always enjoy them. But it feels right. I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.
Another popular fill-in-the-blank choice for the role of prayer in our lives was: communion with self. 88% of UUs in a national survey said this is the role prayer played in their lives. I both agree and disagree. On the disagree side is the example of the mindfulness I practice on the advice of a counselor I saw a few years ago. That’s definitely communing with self and it’s a totally different feel than prayer. I feel content when I practice mindfulness, and I enjoy it, but it’s a solo pursuit. I don’t feel another being with me like I do when I pray. On the agree side I have to try and quote a UU member who said that she believed prayer was a time and place for you to figure out what you wanted and where you were going and set your intentions on pursuing it. Until I heard that I was in the “ask and ye shall receive camp” but now I realize that the time I spend in prayer discussing with God what I want for myself, with all of that honesty and earnestness and the best of intentions, really helps me to organize my life and my thoughts toward pursuing it. So, I’ll fall back on another old truism: The Lord helps those who help themselves. Figuring out, with God, what I want for my life, what the best things are for me to seek, and then setting my intentions toward completing those tasks or obtaining those things or completing those events is a joint endeavor. Obviously, I don’t get everything I pray for. But I do receive just enough of them to really enjoy exploring this concept. Now that I’ve heard this explanation of prayer I’m feeling even more responsible for my prayers, for those intentions of actions. Before, I saw them as me asking God for something and I didn’t take complete responsibility for pursuing them on my own. Now I realize that the goals I ask God for help with are on me to fulfill, too.
Another fill-in-the-blank choice for the role of prayer was “auto-suggestion” or self-hypnosis. Cynics. The world is lousy with ’em.
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