Ethical wills are an increasing trend. This kind of will passes along spiritual insights rather than material wealth. How would you sum up a lifetime of learning? An ethical will is a living legacy of the intangible.
We decided to pick an audience for our ethical wills. A person or people to address our thoughts to. I chose two of my neices, K and K.
Dear K and K,
I am not wise, but I have lived long enough to have picked up a few lessons based on hard experience. We all have to learn our own lessons, and I don’t want to take that away from you. Those experiences, good and bad, will help shape who you are. But I can offer a few tips to think about, tips that you can fall back on when you’re not sure what to do, or when you’re tempted to do something you are uncertain about. I think they’ll help.
Avoid drama. Don’t stir the pot. There is enough excitement in life without adding to it with BS.
Don’t hurt other people, no matter what they’ve done to you. Hatred is one big boomerang. Be the bigger person and you’ll find in the end that you are a bigger person. Even if you don’t believe in karma, behave as though it’s as solid as marble.
Let time heal your wounds. Help it to heal your wounds. Mourn in its season, but don’t hang on to sorrow. It can make you bitter and close you off to new experiences and paths.
Value kindness. It isn’t exciting but it pays enormous dividends. When genuinely kind people come your way in life, invite them in.
Cultivate your own set of loyalties. Not just to people, although family and friends are a good place to start. Cultivate loyalty to carefully chosen institutions and ideas. To your profession, perhaps. Be guided by your values. I’m not telling you to be blindly loyal, or loyal beyond reason. But practice learning to stick it out. Riding out the good with the bad. Letting go of small hurts in anticipation of the rewards of long-term benefits. Loyal people can be counted on. Loyal people are predictable and everyone around them learns that.
You’re in a blessed position. You have two parents who love you, grandparents who adore you, aunts, uncles and cousins who treasure you. You’re in a good school where you can explore your interests. Hang on to these gifts and make the most of them. Not everyone has such a solid start in life.
And know that even though we don’t see you much, we always have your pictures up in our house and we think about you. The week you spent with us two years ago cemented you in our hearts and you can always call on us.
Aunt Snakelady
Plum Librarian LLC 