Remember what I said about coming to peace with Jesus? Well, I meant it. He’s never been my go-to prophet but he’s certainly considered one in Islam and the Gospel is a holy text in Islam as well. I think studying him will help me to feel more comfortable visiting Christian churches.
So, Marie and I were having dinner to talk about where to visit over the next 6 months and I mentioned this. I also mentioned that I didn’t really know how to start.
“Well,” she said, “His whole story is right there in the Gospel. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John will pretty much tell you everything you need to know about Jesus’ teaching and message. And it’s only about one hundred pages long.”
I decided right there that 100 pages was really very little to read to get to an understanding of Jesus.
Boy, was I naive! People spend their whole lives studying the Gospel! But I was feeling inspired and my intentions are good so I’ll rely on those two things to carry me through this adventuresome project.
I went home from my dinner with Marie and got out the New American Standard Bible that my grandmother, a Presbyterian Sunday School teacher, gave me when I was 13 and I expressed an interest in religion. She helped me read large sections of the Old Testament but we never really moved on to the New Testament. I got a very warm feeling reading her inscription to me and I know that she would be glad I am taking this on.
I know Christians find great comfort in Jesus’ message but, compared to the Koran, Matthew initially struck me as harsh. Maybe that’s because I’m comfortable picking and choosing in the Koran and I find the message of God’s love and mercy to be extremely reassuring. When it came to the Gospel, I was taking Jesus at his literal word and it sometimes felt harsh.
But, let’s be realistic, I’m coming at this absolutely cold, with no historical context and very little religious context. I know I’m missing not just the details but probably some pretty big lessons.
Well, as things sometimes work out when you’re on an honest search where God is concerned, two good things promptly happened in my Gospel quest.
First, a woman from the Building Your Own Theology class at the UU church sent out an email to the group. She offered to continue to engage in discussion about the Old or New Testament with an eye toward expanding knowledge and not conversion. As my total luck would have it, she has a degree in theology and so is well qualified to have some nitty-gritty Gospel discussions. I’ll call her Piper as she piped up with the perfect offer just when I needed it.
The first thing she helped me with was understanding Jesus’ teaching that anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. She explained that at that time, a woman couldn’t divorce her husband although a man could send away his wife for any trivial thing. Unless the wife had a male relative to take her in, she was forced to beg or become a prostitute. Jesus was saying that men had responsibilities to their wives that they needed to take seriously.
Another thing that really had me pricking my ears up was the apparent requirement that we forgive our fellows in order to receive God’s forgiveness. That is some seriously tough love. Christianity suddenly stopped being the touchy, feely religion with that one. I’ve always been taught that in Islam, forgiveness is good, yes, great, right on, but hardly a requirement for God’s mercy. Forgiveness is not my strong suit.
The second good thing that happened was the result of a conversation with a librarian, naturally. Betsie and Hubby and I were at a Friday night Lenten fish fry at St. Casimir, our neighborhood Catholic primary school, and I told the story of how I was finding Matthew harsh and she talked about a series of books that she regularly recommends to patrons. Written by a Jesuit priest, they go through the Gospels one by one. He includes his own, original translation as well as commentary and context. I started A Simple Guide to Matthew by Paul McCarren and find it much more helpful than just trying to read the text on my own.
I’m looking for a Christian theological explanation of Jesus in relation to God (at this point, honestly, I’m looking at the ways Christianity differentiates between the two). I’m also looking, in particular, for mercy and wisdom from Jesus and a basic understanding of his teachings.
So far I still find the Koran more comforting and I’m not feeling “won over” by Matthew in the same way I’m feeling inspired by church visits but I’ve made a commitment to read and come to a basic understanding of the Gospel and I plan to see that through. And, of course, I’m looking to see the spirit of the teachings of the Gospel reflected in the churches I’m visiting.
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