Easter Check-In

Saturday, March 31:

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned my Seat Buddy at UU Lansing. We met during an intro to UU class and shortly thereafter I asked him if we could sit together during services. His partner wasn’t attending services at UU and Hubby wasn’t coming with me either and I felt a kinship with this man that made me feel comfortable asking. An honest seeker, he was raised Catholic and spent over a year in discernment with the Episcopal Church to become a priest before ultimately pulling back. He also took the first Building Your Own Theology class. We’ve been sitting together for over a year, texting, and sometimes getting together for coffee.

Today we decided that he’ll join Marie and me on our 2018 Lansing church tour! I have a lot of respect for my Seat Buddy and we’re delighted he’ll be joining us. Knowledgeable about denominations, church history, the practice of worship, and with a deep well of joy and humility, he’s definitely going to add to this experience.

As Easter arrives, I am halfway through the Gospel according to Mark. As I mentioned, I’m reading (at least one) companion book to each Gospel. The first one I started for Mark turned out to be a bummer. Hubris on the part of the author. So, I’m going back to the Jesuits. I have no plans to join the Catholic Church but I trust Jesuits to be knowledgeable, careful thinkers with appropriate oversight by a tradition of religious thought and history. I realize there are pitfalls, too, and not all of my companion books will be written by Jesuits. My twenty year old self, minoring in Women’s Studies at MSU, would be appalled. Still, I’ve had good experiences with the Jesuits so far. And I see absolutely no way to appreciate modern day Christianity without being willing to overlook quite a bit of church history regarding women. I’ve decided to focus on present-day Christianity, and to hold the congregations I visit to a high standard based on my own values, rather than crying over spilt milk. Yup, my twenty year old self would be appalled.

I want a congregation that challenges and encourages me to be my best self rather than trying to shame me into it. A place where I can worship God with like minded people who are committed to service. What happened in that church 200 years ago is not as important to me.

My approach to Jesus hasn’t changed. I’m trying to determine if I’m being called to convert to Christianity. At the moment I’m a little caught up on doctrine: the letter of Jesus’ teaching and the Church doctrine that has built up around it. I’m having trouble feeling theologically excited by Easter because of the traditional message of this time. I don’t believe anyone else can die for my sins. I don’t believe in Original Sin. I don’t, at the moment, believe God came to Earth in human form. I don’t understand the Holy Ghost and the Trinity is a very foreign concept. I don’t have a problem with miracles per se so the Resurrection doesn’t bother me belief-wise. Still, I’m trying to keep an open mind and an open heart and approach this time with an appreciation for the joy that many Christians take in this time of year.

What I really need is a class in Jesus’ teaching and life. A place with knowledgeable, educated, open-minded people who have a broad understanding and appreciation of his place in the church and history. I want to be excited by Jesus’ wisdom, kindness, and the ways he moved society forward. I just don’t know enough yet. Piper is trying to help. Maybe one of the churches we visit this year will offer such a class.

Sunday, April 1. Easter.

Dragon and I attended All Saints Episcopal Church this morning for their Easter service. They were extremely welcoming.

All Saints is an interesting mix between old and new. The hymns are very traditional, as are the vestments and the kneeling benches. But the pastor is completely modern, the sermons colloquial and easygoing, and the attitudes very liberal.

I tried to experience a Christian holiday by singing the hymns and reciting the Nicene Creed. I didn’t believe in it, but I tried it out. I really am trying to give Christianity an honest chance to win me over. I didn’t take communion. That’s one step too far, at least for now.