Fasting during the month of Ramadan is a requirement for Muslims. It’s one of the five pillars of Islam. It can be really rewarding, and it’s also really challenging.
For me, the whole point is intimacy with God. And fasting is uniquely well suited to creating that intimacy. When I feel that intimacy, Ramadan is totally worth it. It gives me the feeling that I’m getting my life right, that I’m practicing my religion correctly, and that God is happy with me. It’s also a humbling experience, because how often do you really feel like God is pleased with you? For me, there aren’t a lot of other times that I feel like I’m being rewarded for my behavior with one of the most valuable experiences I can name: God’s approval. There’s nothing quite like it.
However, that intimacy doesn’t always happen, and when it doesn’t, I mentally and emotionally fall back on the reward of fulfilling a duty, on obedience, to see me through. When I get too many days like that in a row, fasting can begin to feel impossible. Last year, I didn’t make it through the whole month. I just got overwhelmed by the difficulty, the lack of social support that is all on me, and, key: I wasn’t feeling that connection to God.
I try not to get too literal about interpreting a positive emotional experience of fasting with God’s approval. That’s a rabbit hole of second-guessing yourself that can make you miserable. After all, my primary religious endeavor right now is trying to find a church! And yet I’m having a wonderful Ramadan so far. I try just to keep on trucking and hope for the best with each new day.
I was talking to an old friend about Ramadan and she told me that she and her husband have very different motivations for fasting. It was really eye-opening. It just didn’t occur to me that there were other reasons for fasting. For her, fasting is about learning something. That’s what gets her through the tough hours. For her husband, he is motivated by rewards in the next life. All of our reasons are legitimate, and the experience is something that every Muslim must come to terms with.
Because Ramadan is really challenging and American society doesn’t provide any support for Muslims during this time. In other countries, people may change their schedules so they’re sleeping during parts of the day, or working a reduced schedule. Also, the length of the fast is much shorter in some other areas. In Mecca, the hours for fasting are very reasonable while in Michigan this year we’re fasting from about 4:30 am to 9 pm-ish.
I don’t fast every day. I just can’t manage it. I don’t fast to the letter of the law. I just can’t manage it. And yet I’m reaching out to God with sincerity and a true desire to please and the experience is a good reminder for me of the beauty of this religion.
Ramadan Mubarak.
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