Marie took me and Jacob to her home church this week: the Red Cedar Friends. Remember how I said if I found God this search would be over? Well, I felt God in that silence. And that’s the first and most important thing. But I’ve decided to take it slow.
The Red Cedar Friends is a Liberal Quaker group and the service is made up of 50 minutes of silent worship followed by the sharing of joys and sorrows, and then announcements.
I wasn’t sure how I would respond to an extended period of silence, so right before the service I picked up a Bible in the church library at Marie’s suggestion so I could read and reflect on the Gospel of Luke if I needed something to focus on.
But I loved the silence. I kept coming back to recitations from the Koran when I needed to center myself and that was all it took for me to feel the presence of God. I also read from the Bible, to maximize the pleasures of the hour. And it went by so quickly! I’m definitely looking forward to going back and getting more familiar with that silence.
I’ve been practicing mindfulness for about three years now so I do have experience with meditation but while many people consider prayer and meditation to be interchangeable, I don’t. They feel very different to me. Mindfulness/meditation feels solitary. During prayer/worship, I’m seeking and, when I’m fortunate, feeling, the presence of God.
This was worship.
I’m not hung up on language. We can call it Spirit. We can call it the Light. But because there’s no service – because we’re not reciting a Creed together or singing hymns with a specific theological bent- this process is going to have to play out on an interpersonal level. I’m going to have to get to know some people. I’m going to have to get involved. I want to know how much similarity there is among me and other congregants. And I’m willing to do that. Because in the silence, I felt God. And I want to pursue it.
Marie has been telling me about Quaker retreats and adult religious ed and it sounds wonderful. Very God-focused. I’m planning to experience some of it first hand in the next couple of weeks and to attend Quaker meeting until our next church visit.
(And! Score! There’s space for my big body in the meeting room!)
This is my opportunity to say thank you to Marie. Thank you for church shopping with me. Thank you for inviting me into your church, your place of refuge, your spiritual home. I’m honored by the trust you placed in me. You have shown me something wonderful and I deeply appreciate the risk you took. I promise to value it.
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