I spent some time at The Hermitage thinking about where I stand on Islam, my religion of three decades. For the last year I really thought I was on my way out of this faith. But I’m still here so I wanted to evaluate my situation.
I am easily able to overlook aspects of the Koran that I find sexist with a glib, but in my own mind practical and realistic understanding, that the religion could use some updating and the Lord will surely provide it. Where I can’t overlook the sexism is in the tangible experience of being a part of many Muslim communities. I’ll mention one non-starter in particular: separate prayer spaces. I will not be relegated to the back of the bus in my own religion.
In the meantime, I avoid Muslim community while maintaining friendships with individual Muslims, and am satisfied to apply my own best judgment to the rules and regulations regarding the roles of men and women while basking in the spiritual fulfillment I find.
I’m willing to give the Propet Mohammed in particular the benefit of the doubt at just about every turn and enjoy what I find beautiful in this religion without feeling burdened by his detractors. I understand a lot of Christians feel that way about Jesus: they easily explain away anything that doesn’t work for them personally, such as his teaching about divorce. It works just the same in Islam. You get it.
In Islam, giving a portion of your wealth to the needy is a religious requirement. Typically, it’s 2.5%. I came home with a strong sense that I needed to step up my game in this area. I talked to Hubby about the amount I had calculated we needed to give and he agreed. I feel much better about this now. There are five pillars of practicing Islam and now, aside from making the hajj to Mecca, I’m making progress in all areas.
And above all: in this religion I can have a direct, personal, unmediated relationship with my creator. Because if all this seeking has taught me anything, it’s that my relationship with God is extremely important to me. The direct, emotional experience.
From God, during this retreat, I felt that my devotion was received and accepted. I felt loved. I feel that God has plans for me and all that is required for their natural unfolding is patience, attention, and obedience.
What more can I ask for, of God or my religion?
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