2. When are the resume virtues – the characteristics you would use to describe yourself in the job market such as “team player” and “punctual” – more important than the eulogy virtues – the characteristics such as “loyal” and “family-oriented” that might be used to desribe you at your funeral? Are they in conflict in your life? How can they work in harmony for a balanced life?
I find that in the workplace, it’s my eulogy virtues that hold me in the best stead with my co-workers and supervisors. Honesty. Trustworthiness. Equanimity. Stability. And I give the credit for most of my salary to those things. Hire for attitude, train for anything, as they say.
So, while I wrote the question, I’d say that the resume virtues are rarely more important than the eulogy virtues, even in the workplace. I’d go so far as to say that if you rely solely on the resume virtues in the office you will actually fail at earning the respect of your co-workers and supervisors. Eulogy virtues translate into the conduct needed most in the workplace.
I’m hardly a workplace saint. I definitely have my faults. I’m punctual (kind of). There are, for sure, people in my organization I don’t get along with. I get jealous, I’ve been mean-spirited, I’m not always nice. But among the people I’ve cultivated solid working relationships with every day, I am respected and counted on. And I’d bet that while they can list my resume virtues (“Solid program management skills!”, “Detail-oriented!”, “Keeps us on track!”), it’s my eulogy virtues that they value more, and rely on more, even in the workplace.
I don’t find conflict between the two in my life, although I also don’t work in a profession or atmosphere where “getting ahead” is of paramount importance. I’m not in sales, for instance. I don’t work for commission and have three kids to house and clothe. I’m likely at the top of my pay scale so I’m not scrambling up the walls of a profession, one promotion at a time. I already own a house and don’t have financial burdens that would drive me to be in conflict with eulogy virtues in the workplace. It’s actually in my job description to “Represent the Library.” So, my employer values my reputation and my personal conduct and my manners. That’s not to say they don’t value my performance, because they absolutely do, but I’d say they value it equally to my ability to be professionally graceful. And to display character.
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