The Hermitage IV: My Goals for My Retreat

In the days leading up to my time at The Hermitage, I pulled out a fresh journal and sat down to consider what I wanted to accomplish.

Some of my decision-making goals were temporal, and practical. I was really struggling with my attitude toward my health. As much as I intellectually knew that I needed to make changes, I couldn’t settle on any change that I felt confident or even interested in striving for. I needed time to reflect on what I wanted, really wanted, for my physical health.

I wanted to take time to reflect on my life choices of the past couple of years, and also on my goals for the next couple of years.

I was very interested in experiencing silence. In practicing silence. I’d read a lot about it in religious memoirs, mainly by ex-nuns. I was very curious what it would be like to be in it myself, to wait for God in it.

And perhaps most importantly, I wanted to have a frank discussion with the spiritual director assigned to me, the wife of my friend who had been my bridge to The Hermitage. With all of my seeking, I’d never sat down with someone professionally trained to assist others with their spiritual lives.

I found that decisions and decision-making came more easily at The Hermitage. It was safe. There was mental, emotional, and spiritual space and support to poke at issues from different angles. That doesn’t mean that I made decisions lightly, but conclusions seemed more obvious in the silence.

The first decision I made was about my health.

The delicious, made from scratch foods, combined with writing out a long list of reasons for approaching my health more seriously was half of that battle. The rest was considering manageable steps I could begin immediately that wouldn’t overwhelm me. Not whether to do it, but how. Things like asking myself if I’d be willing to park on the far side of the lot at work beginning now, in the winter, to increase my movement. And let me tell you, it’s a big lot. I realized I was.

Since I’ve returned from the retreat, I’ve consulted my doctor on what she advised to be the best methods for me to lose weight and improve conditioning. We settled on a fitbit/activity goal and calorie counting/nutrient monitoring. While I’m not going vegetarian, I am trying to keep an eye on eating foods that are not just lower in calories but also lower on the food chain. For now, at the beginning of this journey, there’s a lot of self awareness training around choices. And so far, it’s going well.

On my first day at the retreat, I also got a massage. It was wonderful! I felt better and moved better throughout the retreat and even the day after I got home.

Hubby had asked me earlier this year what I wanted for Christmas. I told him nothing, I was good. The massage changed that in a hurry. When I got home I told him I wanted a monthly massage at Creative Wellness. He was happy to oblige me. I consider it a part of my better health initiative.

I’ll talk more about my spiritual experiences in later posts – have no fear, it wasn’t all about organic vegetables – but this first decision area was an important one. I went from being stuck, and not able to break free of a really bad attitude about my health, to taking a variety of stable, moderate, concrete steps that will improve my health out of The Hermitage and into my workaday world.