Plum Boudoir

My grandparents on my mother’s side were Fran and Elaine Schryer. There’s a story my grandma would tell about one evening early in their marriage.

She was: happy, cheerful, and home alone all day. He was: naturally quiet and serious, working in a management position at a loud, pounding factory all day.

When he came home from work, he would sit down and read the paper in silence before dinner. One evening, my grandmother sat down across from him. Looking to connect. To share their days. To pass the time in convivial conversation. “Fran, let’s talk,” she volleyed.

He slowly and carefully folded his newspaper. He set it on the end table. He turned his full attention to his wife and said with due solemnity, “Elaine, what would you like to talk about?”

Hubby and I have incorporated that phrasing into our relationship. For 17 years, when we need the other person to really stop and listen, he will say, “Elaine, we need to talk.” And I’ll say, “Fran, what would you like to talk about?” And vice versa. It sets the stage for mutual respect and effective, kind conversation.

Today: a new phrase from my grandparents life entered our marital vocabulary: That was the most expensive tour we ever took.

When my grandparents built their home in Hillsdale, Michigan, it had all the latest features, including a showplace kitchen. The Taylors across the street came for a tour. Mrs. Taylor promptly demanded a new kitchen. Mr. Taylor later said that it was the most expensive tour they ever took.

We told that story proudly. The Hillcrest Drive home was our family center for decades.

On our way back to Lansing, Betsie and I compared notes about the advice we’d just heard, what we’d done well in the past in our homes, and what needed a change. We both agreed that my bedroom needs an upgrade. She suggested gutting it. Ouch.

I was also influenced by my friend Mariko who recently told me that she liked rearranging furniture in her home. That changing her environment gave her a refreshing boost. I looked around. I hadn’t changed ANYTHING in several years. Not even the books on display in the fancy bookends (the Harry Potter series).

Tonight, hubby and I celebrated Valentine’s Day with a leisurely, two and a half hour dinner at an upscale restaurant. I volleyed the idea of a bedroom upgrade by gently introducing the Fran-and-Elaine concept of the results of “expensive tours”/workshops/hey, I’m working it here.

He jumped on the idea and doubled-down. I was thinking a new comforter, drapes, and paint; take out some furniture because there’s just too much; rearrange some stuff. He suggested: new windows and moulding; a new bathroom sink, vanity, toilet, and the addition of a pocket door to the master bath; plus everything I said. We’ll negotiate but the plans are ON. And the bedroom shall be PLUM. Go Big or Go Home.

I promptly began a Plum Boudoir Pinterest Board and invited Betsie, my mom, and my sister-in-law to contribute. Hey, if you want to help, drop me a line at snakeladylibrarian@gmail.com and I’ll add you.